A Special Place

The room is hot and the pool is cold
The TV ain't got HBO
And the water pressure's always low
And the minibar is empty
And good luck gettin' a good night's sleep
Right between the honeymoon suite
And the 1980's vending machine
Where all they sell is Pepsi

So if your friends ask where to send your mail

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
There's a special place in Hell for you

It ain't like you got a soul to sell
So save your prayers for someone else
The concierge won't be no help
He's always on vacation

I don't hate you, but I sure don't wish you well

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
There's a special place in Hell for you

All the heat you put me through
Could never hold a candle to
The room that they got held for you
That special place in Hell for you

There's a bad-lit bathroom mirror
Take a long look at yourself

There's a special place in Hell
A zero-star hotel
Don't worry 'bout your stay
'Cause I've already paid
Yeah, there's a special place in Hell for you

All the heat you put me through
Could never hold a candle to
The room that they got held for you
That special place in Hell for you