United Breaks Guitars

I flew United Airlines on my way to Nebraska
The plane departed, Halifax, connecting in Chicago's "O'Hare"
While on the ground, a passenger said from the seat behind me
My God, they're throwing guitars out there

The band and I exchanged a look, best described as terror
At the action on the tarmac, and knowing whose projectiles these would be
So before I left Chicago, I alerted three employees
Who showed complete indifference towards me

United
(United)
You broke my Taylor Guitar
United
(United)
Some big help you are

You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else
Or gone by car

'Cause United breaks guitars

When we landed in Nebraska, I confirmed what I'd suspected
My Taylor'd been the victim of a vicious act of malice at O'Hare

So began a year long saga, of: Pass the buck; Don't ask me — and — I'm sorry, sir, your claim can go no where
So to all the airlines people, from New York to New Deli
Including kind Ms. Irlweg, who says the final word from them is no

I heard all your excuses
And I've chased your wild gooses
And this attitude of yours, I say, must go

United
(United)
You broke my Taylor Guitar
United
(United)
Some big help you are

You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else
Or gone by car

'Cause United breaks guitars

Well, I won't say that I'll never fly with you again
'Cause, maybe, to save the world, I probably would
But that won't likely happen
And if it did, I wouldn't bring my luggage
'Cause you'd just go and break it
Into a thousand pieces
Just like you broke my heart

When United breaks guitars

United
(United)
You broke my Taylor Guitar
United
(United)
Some big help you are

You broke it, you should fix it
You're liable, just admit it
I should've flown with someone else
Or gone by car

'Cause United breaks guitars

Yeah, United breaks guitars

Yeah, United breaks guitars