175 Months

But I didn't wanna

Father God, forgive me
It's been a couple years there may be more that I ain't prayed
Even longer I ain't been to church, God, I'm ashamed
Embarrassed of my ways, but still, I'm asking for Your grace
Feel like I been led astray
By the drinkin' and the spirits I let take me when I ride
And the ladies in the night
Most people, they got demons, I got angels that I fight
Tryna save you from my ply
I pray I make it to the light
South London where we lie
Abdullah died at sixteen, and I still feel that same rage
Cah we all gettin' older and he still the same age
It's his twenty-seventh birthday, and in his pic, he's fourteen
Back when we had all dreamed
There's Stephanie, she left at fourteen
And he lived at number seventeen, and I was number twelve
When I used to think that if I'd skip church, I go to Hell
So when they ask about grief and how it feels, I know it well
I missed his tenth anniversary in 2024
I know the value of this picture, we ain't gettin' any more
Then I go, and I get angry, God, like: Why'd you take him for?
He was just a baby-o
These emotions that I'm feelin', it's the strength I pray for
God, for anyone that's with us that can vouch I pray for
Pray that I feel less lonely in this house I prayed for
I pray to

Yeah
With this cross that you bear on me
Can you look after my mum? She probably used her last prayer on me
Can't let the Devil in, there's repentance in the Bible, God remind my ex of this
Feel like we was meant for this, move mountains and boulders
We had a our parents get to know may they never need a shoulder
I done shit I can't condone, real sermons on my own
I'm in church, more worried 'bout the service on my phone
And on judgment Day, are You gonna write it in my sins?
Cah my nigga, he got cancer, and I'm lyin' to his kids
God, I'm tryin', but it hits me in my heart
I done lost so many niggas that's been with me from the start
Then I pray for quick change and I ain't even try it fast
All I ever did was ask, shed a glass, crucifixes on my chest
Pray to purchase a Patek, for my church, they cut a check
How am I tryna pray for Congo with these diamonds on my neck?
There's a father and there's a son
Pray that I can show him how to love a woman through his mum
Because I never got the chance
And I just want the best for my three little nieces that I carry on my chest
I'm prayin' for my managers, I'm prayin' for their wives
'Cause God knows that they're the ones that sacrifice their lives
I would've said their names, but God, you know who I mean
I'm prayin' for my brothers, God, protect us on the streets
I had a steak at Carbone, and didn't pray before I eat
It's like I call you when I need you, and I don't, we don't speak
Ground rules for my niggas found schools
Back at Lambeth Town Hall, I helped him pray
But didn't know it was on my downfall, so when I'm ice-cold

When no blood is in my veins, numbers on my days
Will I say I love this life?
I'm just prayin' that my purpose can justify my pain
I'm just prayin' that my purpose can justify my pain

My mum used to creep in my room and put oil all across of my head
Anoint me and probably read a verse like Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd: And maybe Matthew 4
The word is my weapon tonight
If I can't pray for peace, then I just pray we win the war
It's been twenty-six years, I don't know what I'm fightin' for
Well, maybe it's a place to fill your ever-lastin' lie
In a world where kids that die get a second chance at life
Christ, I don't know what to say to You
I pray to you forgive me for the days I had a reason to
And I ain't had faith in You, You did it for the sake in me
And how I forsaken You prayed for new
Shoes and I used them to walk away from You
Made it out with drugs, swapped the pen for the needles
And I just found a different way to poison my people
You could say it's testimony that I'm tellin' them a story
But how we sellin' them the Devil, still giving God the glory?
Can I pray?

Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh
Take care of
Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh
Can I, can I go on to put the drums on top of both of those
But yeah, yeah, it's bzz-bzz-k
Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh
Take care of
Ooh, ooh, oh, ooh
Take care of
Ooh