Suffering

Dreams of blood
taking life away
dreams of blood
appearing night and day
sentenced by remembering
just one cut
and the heartbeat fades
one short deed forever dead

never felt so weak
cannot move or act
never been so deep
in conflict with my past

drown in pain
now the past
reigns inside my brain
slave to what I once did
past has won
it isn't gone, it catches me
again and again and again

fantasies of horror
seems like mental error
but it is so real
I think I feel what he felt
when my love made his
heartbeat fade to death

how painful remembering can be
it can get more important
than present and reality

this is my endless suffering
suffering

I still hear his cries
feel his screams
see his blood on my hands
when he left, I also died
'cause he never loved me
I took his life
and now I am damned to