Lull

I spent all night
Redrafting thoughts I'd crafted out of love
And hate and spite
And selfishness, of all my darkest fetishes
Of all my least abhorrent, boring
Observations, constellations
In the sky at night

Made out off fleeting words and notes
That are ten million miles away
Dying as we watch them glow
Dying, as we watch we know
There's little we can do
But sit and watch them turn the screw
And hope some of our lives are true

All my moods are bottled
And all my dreams are down
Lazing, living, lying in this lull

I spent all morning falling deeper
Into sleep deprived
Of any urge to leave the bed
On which I rest my weary head
So tired with no reason
So listless and so lost
The cost of an unhealthy diet
And a lack of exercise

And when I rise
I rise merely temporarily
To smoke and watch some video
Which tells me something I already know
And I get to feel right
A feeling I feel nearly constantly
Seriously? Honestly?
It's the comfort in my laze but

All my moods are bottled
And all my dreams are down
Lazing, living, lying in this lull

All my considerations
Are trivial at best
I guess everything's already been
Said

Here lies the writer
With no epitaph or gravestone
Just a wooden fucking coffin
And a note
There's something sketched
Onto a worn-out piece of paper
Shoved into his stylish sheepskin coat

I read timidly
I asked it to be poignant
I cheer it from the sidelines
To be beautiful and great
But nothing struck me
Other than disappointment
I truly hope that death is worth the wait