Chaos

My chaos is the battlefield of mental war.
the enemies: myself and everyone else.
I feel drawn out, them to slaughter.
disdain, the urge for undermination, unseen i proceed.
the farther i get the more i'm drained.
every victory leaves me defeated

suffering myself
where's my ally to defy this cursed me?
turn the lights out in the dusk, snuff the last glow of my candle.
enforce my blackness, till all of me has turned to hate

no one is here, the panic reaching out and schizophrenic motivations
hauling me

this world is like a horror vision
distorted beings in it
produced by conversion error,
produced by my own mind.

bleakness will never end,
abandonment in my escape weighted down by calamity.

i will defy, strengthen the mental fortress,
derive what threatens me
find protection in emotional death.

descent continues
grinds me down to nothing
no space, constricted, unable to move
cling to the last reasons
strive against losing faith in them
tormented by uncontrolled fear

suffering myself
where's my ally to defy this cursed me?
turn the lights out in the dusk, snuff the last glow of my candle.
enforce my blackness, till all of me has turned to hate

happiness so quickly gone
moments seem a million years ago
the truth hurts, perception is always something wrong
cut short my way, kill the future