Everything Happens for a Reason

I know everything happens for a reason
But what the fuck is happening?
I used to love the autumn season
And all the leaves falling and flying

I put on my headphones
And shuffle through all my songs
'Cause I feel nothing in my bones

I skip another meal today
Just to feel better with my weigh
But I can't never make 'em stay

Another day with this numbness
Another day feeling hopeless
I don't know how much strength I have left
I'm tired of being so fucking soft

Just keep my head down
Looking at the flooded ground
Can someone teach me how to be strong?

Last week I relapsed
Everyone thinks that I'm a mess
But I don't know how to process me

(I don't know how to process me)

I don't know what is the reason
But why everything happens in that season?