Goodbye Earl

Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends
All through their high school days
Both members of the 4-H Club
Both active in the FFA
After graduation, Mary Anne went out
Lookin' for a bright, new world
Wanda looked all around this town
And all she found was Earl

Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married
That Wanda started gettin' abused
She put on dark glasses, long-sleeved blouses
And make-up, to cover a bruise
Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce
She let the law take it from there
But Earl walked right through that restraining order
And put her in intensive care

Right away, Mary Anne flew-in from Atlanta
On a red-eye midnight flight
She held Wanda's hand
And they worked-out a plan
And it didn't take 'em long to decide
That Earl had to die

(Na, na-na-na, na, ah) goodbye, Earl!
Those black-eyed peas (na, na-na-na, na, ah)
They tasted all right, to me, Earl
You feelin' weak? (Na, na-na-na, na, ah)
Why don't you lay-down 'n sleep, Earl
Ain't it dark (na, na-na-na, na, ah), wrapped-up in that tarp, Earl? Hey!

The cops came by to bring Earl in
They searched the house, high 'n low
Then they tipped their hats and said: Thank you, ladies
If you hear from him, let us know

Well, the weeks went by, 'n spring turned to summer
'N summer faded into fall
And it turns out he was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all

So, the girls bought some land
And a roadside stand, out on Highway 109
They sell Tennessee ham 'n strawberry jam
And they don't lose any sleep at night, 'cause Earl had to die

(Na, na-na-na, na, ah) goodbye, Earl!
We need a break, (na, ah)
Let's go out to the lake, Earl
We'll pack a lunch (na, na-na-na, na, ah)
And stuff you in the trunk, Earl
Hey! (Na, na-na-na, na, ah)

Oh, hey, hey, hey
(Na, na-na-na, na, ah)
Oh, hey, hey, hey
(Na, na-na-na, na, ah)
Oh, hey, hey, hey

(The Dixie Chicks do not advocate premeditated murder, but love getting even)