C        
Now handsome guys get girls that are pretty
         F             
Other guys get 'em 'cos they're clever and witty
          C                       A7
But the only love I ever get, I get out of pity
        Dm       G7           C
'Cos I'm the ugliest man in town

     C                                 
I drive down the road in a Rolls Royce car
        F
Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar
            C                    A7
But still you know, that won't get you very far
         Dm       G7            C
When you're the ugliest man in town


               G                               C
There was a note on the doorstep where I was found
        G                               C
It said this sweet child weighs eleven pounds
      G                                     C
So bring him up healthy and wealthy and stout
           A7             Dm                    G7
Keep his back to the light, don't let it turn around


       C                             
Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold
        F
All you want is my silver and gold
      C                                   A7
And don't you know that there's a beautiful soul
         Dm      G7           C
Inside the ugliest man in town                   [Boy do I got plans for us]

       G                         C
Yeah I'm so ugly I shave in the dark
   G                         C
Kids start to cry when I walk through the park
     G                    C
Clocks stop ticking and dogs start to bark
     A7    Dm        G7
Whenever I come around


        C                                         
Yeah I walk down the street and the girls all hiss me
      F
If I die tomorrow not one of them would miss me
     C                              A7
Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me
          Dm      G7       C
I'm the ugliest man in town
            Dm        G7        C
Yeah I'm the ugliest man in town