Get Drunk With Dignity

E                           A
When you've had too much to drink
                E
there's certain things to keep in 
mind.
Like when you find your hands and 
A             B
underarms are bleeding
your beer bottle might not have a 
          A
twist off cap
                              E
and don't ever go home with a woman 
they call Moose or Vince
F#                                
And never bet that you can fit 
  B
your head inside a glove compartment


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A
Get drunk with dignity
E                                
Keep in mind that just because a 
B
bulldog licks your face
       E
its not necessary to lick him back
A                              
Stay away from drinks with names 
       E
like brain seizure or hippo laxative
B                   E
Get drunk with dignity
E                  A             
If a bar has human ears nailed to
     E
 the walls don't pass out there
and if your homemade jelly has some 
A               B
goldfish in it ------- you used the 
wrong bowl
A                              E
And there are phrases you must learn
 to avoid phrases like
F#                           B
"that badge looks stupid" and "I can
 prove these shoes are fireproof"
A                     E
Get drunk with dignity try not to 
drool on bikers
B                           E
Don't moon a nun unless you got a 
real good reason
A                        E
Don't get romantically involved with
 farm machinery
B                   E
Get drunk with dignity.