Kiss Me Im Faced

G
I play in a band
               C      G
We're the best in the land
                              D
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then 
C            G
score at the bar
          C              G        
There's a line of chicks waiting 
         D
for their chance
      G                    C      
So come on now honey, I'll make 
       G
you feel pretty
                                 D
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be 
C            G
gone for the night
           C           G     
'Cause I'm more than a handful 
          Em
you'll see


[Chorus]

      C                 G
So kiss me, I'm shit faced
            C           G       
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and 
   D            C
brown in the trousers,
    G
She kissed me!
      Am   C              G
And I only bought her one round
G
I can bench-press a car
       C            G
I'm an ex-football star
                                  D
With degrees from both Harvard &
 Yale.
                                C  
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a 
        G
real love machine.
          C          G         
I've had far better sex while in 
     D
jail.
    G
I designed the Sears Tower
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       C           G
I make 2 grand an hour
                               D
I cook the world's best duck flambé

I take the pick of the litter
       C         G
Girls jockey for me
         C          G            Em
I don't need these lines to get laid

     C            G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
            C        G          D
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and
            C
 brown in the trousers,
    G
She kissed me!
      Am   C              G
And I only bought her one round

       G
I'm a man of the night
        C       G
A real lady's delight.
See my figure was chizzled from 
  D
stone.
One more for the gal then I'll 
  C          G
escort her home
            C        G     D
Come last call I'm never alone.
         G                        
I've a house on the hill with a 
C         G
red water bed
That puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to 
 D
shame.
                          C        
With girls by the pool & 
      G
Italian sports cars
          C            G          
I'm just here in this dump for the
  Em
 game.


     C             G         
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced, I'm 
     C         G            D
soaked, I'm soiled & brown.
          C           G       
In the trousers, she kissed me, 
       Am    C              G
& I only bought her one round.

N.C
Eh, fuck it.
Who am I shittin?

        G
I'm a pitiful sight
        C              G
And I ain't all that bright.
I'm definitely not chiseled from 
  D
stone.

I'm a cheat & a liar,
     C       G              C    
No woman's desire, I'll probly 
    D      G
die cold & alone.

Faster

           G
But just give me a chance
      C
'Cuz deep down inside
                              D
I swear I got a big heart of gold.
           D              C
I'm a monogamous man no more one 
night stands
  C              D               G
Come on honey, lemme' take you home.
     C             G          
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm 
   C            G           D
soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G          
In the trousers, she kissed me, 
    Am     C              G
and I only bought her one round.
     C             G          
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm 
    C          G            D
soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G          
In the trousers (it was tiny!) and
    Am    C              G
 I only bought her one round.
    C             G           
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm 
    C          G            D
soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G          
In the trousers, she kissed me, 
    Am     C              G
and I only bought her one round.