G
I play in a band
               C      G
We're the best in the land
                              D
We're big in both Chelsea and France
                                C            G
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
          C              G                 D
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
      G                    C             G
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
                                 D
These other gals mean nothing to me
                                 C            G
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
           C           G               Em
'Cause I'm more than a handful you'll see


[Chorus]

      C                 G
So kiss me, I'm shit faced
            C           G          D            C
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers,
    G
She kissed me!
      Am   C              G
And I only bought her one round
G
I can bench-press a car
       C            G
I'm an ex-football star
                                  D
With degrees from both Harvard & Yale.
                                C          G
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine.
          C          G              D
I've had far better sex while in jail.
    G      
I designed the Sears Tower
       C           G
I make 2 grand an hour
                               D
I cook the world's best duck flambé

I take the pick of the litter
       C         G
Girls jockey for me
         C          G            Em
I don't need these lines to get laid

     C            G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
            C        G          D            C
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers,
    G
She kissed me!
      Am   C              G
And I only bought her one round

       G
I'm a man of the night
        C       G
A real lady's delight.
                                  D
See my figure was chizzled from stone.
                                 C          G
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
            C        G     D       
Come last call I'm never alone.
         G                        C         G
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
                                    D
That puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to shame.
                          C              G
With girls by the pool & Italian sports cars
          C            G            Em
I'm just here in this dump for the game.


     C             G              C         G            D
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled & brown.
          C           G              Am    C              G
In the trousers, she kissed me, & I only bought her one round.

N.C
Eh, fuck it.
Who am I shittin?

        G
I'm a pitiful sight
        C              G
And I ain't all that bright.
                                   D
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone.

I'm a cheat & a liar,
     C       G              C        D      G
No woman's desire, I'll probly die cold & alone.

Faster

           G
But just give me a chance
      C
'Cuz deep down inside
                              D
I swear I got a big heart of gold.
           D              C
I'm a monogamous man no more one night stands
  C              D               G
Come on honey, lemme' take you home.
     C             G             C            G           D
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G              Am     C              G
In the trousers, she kissed me, and I only bought her one round.
     C             G              C          G            D
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G              Am    C              G 
In the trousers (it was tiny!) and I only bought her one round.
    C             G               C          G            D
So kiss me, I'm shit faced, I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown.
           C           G              Am     C              G
In the trousers, she kissed me, and I only bought her one round.