Holy Poison

I know what she does to me
And even so I let her in
She says she gives me relief
But deep down she just wants to bury me

She's sweet like expensive poison
She's home in the middle of a shipwreck
Everybody points, everybody complains
But no one lives, no one knows the truth

It's not that I don't want to stay away
It's just that I only breathe with her here
Living forever is a beautiful plan
But I need her to make it work

She kills me, but she saves me too
It's death with a taste of peace
They say it's addiction, I call it home
I know one day she'll drag me down
But today
Today I need to escape

Some days the mirror judges me
Some nights I swear it's over
But when the world slams the doors shut
She's the one who still saves me

Everyone wants me clean
Preaches and demands evolution
But no one holds my hand
When I'm hanging over the abyss

It's not courage, it's desperation
A pocket saint that smells like death
She leaves me rotten, but leaves me standing
And that's more than many have done for me

She kills me, but she saves me too
It's death with a taste of peace
They say it's addiction, I call it home
I know one day she'll drag me down
But today
Today I need to escape

They'll bury me with her in my hand
And everyone will want to judge
But no one gave me a way out
Only a sermon

She kills me, but she's all I have
Sinks me smiling, gives me a reason
If it's a fall, let it be with her on my chest
If it's hell, let it come with a live soundtrack

She kills me slowly
But at least she lets me exist