St Stephens Day Murders

Dm                          C    
I once knew two sisters whose 
         F
name it was Christmas
                   Dm            
And one was named Dawn of course, 
           C             F
the other one was named Eve
   Dm                     C       
I wonder if they grew up hating 
   F
the season
        F
Of the good will that lasts ‘til the
 feast of St. Stephen

      F                        C  
For that is the time to eat, 
          F
drink, and be merry
          C            F          
'Til the beer is all spilled and 
     C           F
the whiskey has flowed
          F                  
And the whole family tree you 
     C         F
neglected to bury
     C             F       C     
Are feeding their faces until 
      Dm
they explode

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Chorus:
             Dm           C       
There'll be laughter and tears 
   F      C
over tia marias
        F                       
Washed down with that drink made 
       C
from girders
            Dm             C      
‘Cause it's all we've got left as 
       Dm              C
they draw their last breath
          Dm           C          
And it's nice for the kids, as you
  Dm          F
 finally get rid of them
Bb                        C   F
In the St. Stephen's Day murders

Uncle is garglin' a heart-breaking 
air
While the babe in his arms pulls out
 all that remains of his hair
And we're not drunk enough yet to 
dare criticize
The great big kipper tie he's about 
to baptize

His gin-flavoured whiskers and 
kisses of sherry
His best crimble shirt slung out 
over the shop
While the lights from the Christmas 
tree blow up the telly
His face closes in like an old cold 
pork chop

Chorus
         Dm             C         
And the carcass of the beast left 
F              C
over from the feast
      F             C
May still be found haunting the 
kitchen
             Dm         C         
And there's life in it yet, we may
  Dm         C
 live to regret
         F                         
When the ones that we poisoned stop
   C
 twitchin'