This Is Hell

          D            A          
This is hell, this is hell, I am  
G            Em
...sorry to tell you,
    D              A          G  
It ...never gets better, or 
    (G) (G/F#) (G/E)
worse,
D                   A          G
   But you'll get used to it,   
           Em7
  after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


       G
The bruiser spun a hula -  hoop
                D
While all the barmen preen and pout,
      G                     
The neon "I" of "night club" 
          D
flickers on and off,
                  C
And finally blew out,
                      Am    
The irritating jingle of the 
                         C
belly-dancing phoney Turkish girls,
                    Am
The eerie glare of ultra - violet 
perfect dental work!


D                          A     
    This is hell, this is hell, I
     G            Em
 am  ...sorry to tell you,
    D               A        G   
It ...never gets better or worse!
                  Em7
 (It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A           G
   But you'll get used to it,   
           Em7
  after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


      G
The failed Don Juan, in the big 
bow-tie,
Continúa después del anuncio
          D
Is very sorry that he spoke,
     G
For he's mislaid his punch-line,
           D                       
More than half- way through a very 
           C
tasteless joke,
                                 Am
The Fräulein caught him peeking down
 her gown,
                     C
He's yelling in her ear,
                            Am
And all at once the music stopped,
                         A         
As he was intimately bellowing, "My
  A7
 dear...


            D              A      
...This is hell, this is hell, I 
   G           Em
am ...sorry to tell you,
      D         A         G      
It never gets better or worse, 
              Em7
(It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A          G 
   But you'll get used to it,   
           Em
  after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9
For heaven is hell in re - verse!


     Dm                    G
The shirt you wore with courage,
          C      Em    F
And the violent nylon suit,
        Dm             G
Reap - pear upon your back,
             C                 F
And under - mine the polished line 
you try to shoot,
Dm                 G         
    It's not the torment of the 
      C
flames,
       Em      F                  
That finally seize your flesh cor 
    D
- rupted,
It's the small humiliations that 
                  G
your memory piles up,
                          Em7      
(This is  hell!) This is hell, 
                     D
(This is hell!) this is hell! 
(Hell!)


        G                          
'My favourite things' are playing a
    D
 - gain, and again,
      G                         D
But it's by Julie Andrews, and not 
by John Coltrane,
   G                        D
Endless balmy breezes in perfect 
sunsets framed,
   G                           
Vintage wine for breakfast, and 
   D                             
naked starlets floating in Cham - 
    C
pagne
                          Am       
                      C
                              Am
You may think it looks fa - miliar,
       Am7             A        
Though you may know it by another 
   A7
name...


            D               A     
...This is hell, this is hell, I 
   G           Em
am ...sorry to tell you,
      D         A         G      
It never gets better or worse, 
              Em7
(It never gets better or worse!)
D                  A          G 
   But you'll get used to it,   
           Em
  after a spell,
      D        A           Cadd9 
For heaven is hell in re - verse,
                             D
 (This is hell!)  This hell!