The Real Slim Shady

[Verso 1]

   Em                         Am
Y'all act like you never seen a 
white person before
      B7                          
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and 
Em
Tommy just burst in the door
Em                         Am
and started whoopin her ass worse 
than before
          B7                     
they were first divorced, throwin 
  Em
her over furniture (Ahh!)
Em                              
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait,
Am
 no way, you're kidding,
B7                          Em
he didn't just say what I think he 
did, did he?"
Em                 Am
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you 
idiots!
B7                   Em
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my 
basement! (Ha-ha!)
Em                    Am
Feminist women love Eminem
                B7
chigga chigga chigga
                   Em
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at
 him,
Em                    Am
Walkin' around grabbin' his 
you-know-what
              B7                 
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, 
          Em
but he's so cute though!"
Em                             
Yeah, I probably got a couple of 
      Am
screws up in my head loose
     B7                         Em
But no worse, than what's goin on in
 your parents' bedrooms
Em                      Am       
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and 
                         B7
just let loose, but can't
                               Em
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump 
a dead moose
Em                          Am
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is 
on your lips"
       B7                       
And if I'm lucky, you might just 
   Em
give it a little kiss
     Em                       
And that's the message that we 
     Am
deliver to little kids
     B7                            
And expect them not to know what a 
  Em
woman's clitoris is
     Em                       
Of course they gonna know what 
        Am
intercourse is
                      B7
By the time they hit fourth grade
                Em
They got the Discovery Channel don't
 they?
Em                      Am       
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." 
                     B7
Well, some of us cannibals
               Em
who cut other people open like 
cantaloupes [SLURP]
Em                   Am
But if we can hump dead animals and 
antelopes
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B7                                
then there's no reason that a man 
      Em
and another man can't elope
           Em                   
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I 
Am
feel, I got the antidote
B7                          Em
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the 
chorus and it goes


[Refrão: Eminem (repete x2)]

        Em                   Am
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the 
real Shady
         B7                  Em
All you other Slim Shadys are just 
imitating
    Em                          Am
So won't the real Slim Shady please 
stand up,
B7                Em
please stand up, please stand up?

Em                                
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his
   Am
 raps to sell his records;
B7                          Em
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you 
too!
      Em                       
You think I give a damn about a 
   Am
Grammy?
              B7              
Half of you critics can't even 
              Em
stomach me, let alone stand me
      Em                        Am
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't
 it be weird?"
B7                                 
Why? So you guys could just lie to 
Em
get me here?
        Em                Am
So you can, sit me here next to 
Britney Spears?
B7                        Em
Shit, Christina Aguilera better 
switch me chairs
        Em                    Am
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and
 Fred Durst
      B7                           
and hear 'em argue over who she 
   Em
gave head to first
Em                           Am
You little bitch, put me on blast on
 MTV
             B7                    
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's 
         Em
married to Kim, hee-hee!"
         Em                     Am
I should download her audio on MP3
              B7                
and show the whole world how you 
      Em
gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
Em                                
I'm sick of you little girl and 
Am                        B7
boy groups, all you do is annoy me
                Em
so I have been sent here to destroy 
you [bzzzt]
Em                            Am
And there's a million of us just 
like me
     B7                         
who cuss like me; who just don't 
   Em
give a fuck like me
     Em                          
who dress like me; walk, talk and 
  Am
act like me
     B7                        
and just might be the next best 
   Em
thing but not quite me!


[Estribillo]

            Em                     
I'm like a head trip to listen to, 
  Am
cause I'm only givin you
B7                            
things you joke about with your 
        Em
friends inside your living room
   Em                  Am
The only difference is I got the 
balls to say it
             B7                    
in front of y'all and I don't gotta
      Em
 be false or sugarcoated at all
Em                   Am
I just get on the mic and spit it
         B7                     
and whether you like to admit it 
         Em
[*ERR*] I just shit it
             Em                  
better than ninety percent of you 
    Am
rappers out can
                B7                 
Then you wonder how can kids eat up
         Em
 these albums like valiums
      Em                    Am
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm 
goin when I'm thirty
B7                           
I'll be the only person in the 
    Em
nursin home flirting
Em                      Am
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin
 off with Jergens
     B7                            
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag 
    Em
of Viagra isn't working
     Em                        Am
And every single person is a Slim 
Shady lurkin
     B7                            
He could be workin at Burger King, 
   Em
spittin on your onion rings
         Em                   
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, 
   Am
circling
                B7
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
                   Em
with his windows down and his system
 up
Em                         Am
So, will the real Shady please stand
 up?
    B7                           
And put one of those fingers on each
Em
 hand up?
         Em                     Am
And be proud to be outta your mind 
and outta control
    B7                         Em
and one more time, loud as you can, 
how does it go?

[Estribillo]

Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of
 us
Fuck it, let's all stand up