PTSD

I am wide awake
Staring at you face and
I'm wondering if you're safe
I'm wondering if it's fake
And my heart is racing
Afraid of what you hide
Afraid of ways you lie and
Afraid of what I'll find
Afraid I'll spend my life
Crying when I'm smilling

Can't tell if I love you or
I'm sleeping with the enemy
Some days I can't tell my intuition
From anxiety
I'm too scared to tell you
Cause what if you get fed up and leave
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD

I'm good, I'm good okay?
My armor's suffocating
I guess it comes in waves
I get used to the ache
But it's asphyxiating

Can't tell if I love you
Or I'm sleeping with the enemy
Some days I can't tell my intuition
From anxiety
I'm too scared to tell you
Cause what if you get fed up and leave
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD

I'm just a sad girl
Stacking up my money
I'm doing big things cause
My mama didn't want me
I try to be a saint
So I'm worthy of affection
But I'm still afraid
'Cause love is a murder weapon

Some days I get so damn lonely
Cause everybody's fake
I trust the only one who knows me
Cause no one else feels safe

PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD
PTSD, PTSD
Some days I can't tell my paranoia
From PTSD

I'm just a sad girl
Stacking up my money
I'm doing big things cause
My mama didn't want me
I try to be a saint
So I'm worthy of affection
But I'm still afraid
'Cause love is a murder weapon