Just Snorted a Pill

Oh, no, this is not my bed
Kamikaze contact with every ghost I've met
It's the sickness of the mind, it's a voice in my head
I just snorted a pill and now I think I'm dead

Was it white? Or was it blue or red?
I'm a psychopathic martyr and I need to be fed
Ground my bones into dust and filmed me as I bled
I just swallowed a pill and now I think I'm dead

How late are they open for?
There's still people in the bathroom doing E on the floor
My body is cold
Can you smell my dread?
I just threw back a pill
I hope that I'm not dead

These walls all rot around me as my eyes rot too
There's no passage in the bible to tell me what to do
All my friends all left the party at a quarter to three
Are they really my friends if they've abandoned me?

There's at least a dozen boys in this room I'm in
I forgive them 'cause they don't know what they're doing to sin
I can hear another voice saying: Don't be scared
Saying: I am here with you, but bitch, where?
Suicidal on these filthy sheets
I can feel them tearing pieces from inside of me

Drop my body in a box that sits behind the shed
Dig a hole and throw me in and leave me there for dead
I don't know what it is that I took that night
But the sin is chemical and escapees' plight
I don't remember what the fuck he said
It was along the lines of: Take this, and go take off your dress

My body hurts but I can't feel it
There's twelve apostles and I must kill them
I don't care about your dads
They can mourn you at your funeral
That you are surely soon to have

I don't wanna be a victim in this hell on earth
And they won't have the chance to kill me if I take you first
Take the knife out of my purse and cut off all their heads
And they can feed me with the money but they'll wind up dead
I'll set fire to the place and watch it go up in flames
And they won't even let the media get hold of your name
There'll be black and burned bodies in the aisles of the street
And it's punishment enough for treating you like me
And never mark my words of school for those boys who died
Never knowing why or how, it's just what transpired
If they ask me I won't tell, but I sure won't lie
'Cause I just swallowed a pill and now I feel just fine

If you fuck with me I'll end your life
'Cause I just snorted a pill and your ass is mine