Jason’s Bar Mitzvah

Jason
Whizzer, hey!
Suddenly it all came clear
I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here!

Marvin, trina, mendel, jason, charlotte, cordelia
Surprise!

Marvin
This was jason's brilliant idea!
And I brought the prayer shawl

Marvin, trina, mendel, jason, charlotte, cordelia
Ooo
It's jason's bar mitzvah!

Mendel
Don't you move
Everything will soon be great
Close your eyes
While we redecorate

Cordelia
I'll unwrap the billion hors d'oeuvres
And someone, please, eat them
Trina
Photo

All
Ooo
It's jason's bar mitzvah!

Trina
Lovely, flowers make things lovely
Champagne makes things lovely, too
Everything's amiss

Mendel
Drink up!
Anyone for bubbly?

Trina
Probably, it's doubly useful at a time like this
Cheers

Mendel and whizzer
Cheers

Trina
And aren't things lovely?
I feel more helpless than I have in years
Marvin
Try this on
Mendel, get this thing in gear

Whizzer
Please excuse me if I interfere
But I feel that, since I'm the host
It's me who should toast him

Marvin, whizzer, trina, mendel, charlotte, cordelia
Ooo, ooo

Whizzer
To jason's bar mitzvah!

[The men depart to help jason get ready]

Charlotte
I notified the nurses
Told them please to not intrude

Cordelia
I passed around the food
And dumped some extra food
'Cause, lord knows, we've got plenty
Charlotte
She's cooked for some 200 guests

Cordelia
We number not that many
Actually... We're seven

Charlotte
Maybe it's not dumb
The way this whole thing ends
The food tastes really yummy

Cordelia
Oh, mummy

Trina
Lovely

Charlotte and cordelia
The flowers seem to sparkle
The candelabra sets the tone

Trina
I must make things

Charlotte and cordelia
The wine is very soothing

Trina
Lovely

Charlotte and cordelia
Soothes the "something, something"
Someone needed soothing

Trina
Put everything

Charlotte
I think, perhaps, I'm overdressed

Trina
In its place

Cordelia
I think, perhaps, it doesn't matter

Trina
Ready for the

Cordelia
That you are

Trina
Band

Charlotte and cordelia
Here we are
Jason's bar mitzvah looks
Like the books say it should

Trina, charlotte, and cordelia
Cheers

Trina
And aren't things lovely?

Charlotte and cordelia
Everything is lovely

Trina, charlotte, and cordelia
I feel more helpless than I have in years

[Whizzer and mendel enter, followed by marvin and jason]

Mendel and whizzer
Here he comes

Mendel
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun
Fix his tie
Trina, try
To make him smile more

Whizzer, trina, mendel, charlotte, cordelia
Don't know why
But he looks like marvin

Marvin
How did you turn out so great?
Who do I thank for the man you've turned into?
Kid, do you know
How proud I am?
If I don't show
How proud I am
You hold my dreams
Kid, I burst at the seams
'Cause of you

Mendel
Son of abraham, Isaac, and jacob
Son of marvin, son of trina, son of whizzer, son of mendel

Marvin, whizzer, trina, jason, charlotte, cordelia
And godchild to the lesbians from next door

Mendel
Sing
Oh, sing
Oh, sing

Jason
Vie-eme-low yea-o-leh
Heh-oh-non vi-low
Ah-yis-is-ooh ay-ysi-ro-ale
Ha-ooh low toe vo-o-meem aboh