Paranoid Window

I believe, what must not be believed.
What I see, this is not.
I hear, what must not be heard.
It comes from my own imagination.
Without reasons, I invent everything.
I'm simply playing with my own emotions.
Like a dream, like a game.
Chronic influence, I am influenced, but I will be still the same.
Insensitive and hypersensitive at the same time.
Self-destructive and happy at the same time.
Being both, I can't do it.
Being like an only caracter, it doesn't exist.
I must remove the active impulse that is destroying me.
Hide my emotions and to suppress all.
This shit just makes me divert of my own thoughts.
I cry to come back to earth.
Deprived of this reality.
Help me.