Afraid To Try Again

I met someone who smiled like you
And it shook something loose in me
But I held my breath and turned away
Like love was some disease

I’ve built my life in quiet rooms
Where the light don’t ever stay
I’ve learned to keep the doors half-closed
So no one asks to stay

I'm afraid to try again
Not 'cause I don’t feel
But 'cause I feel too much
And none of it ever heals
I’ve seen good things fall apart
Heard soft words become knives
So I stay where it’s safe
On the edge of a life

You said you wouldn’t break me
But so did everyone before
So I smiled like I believed you
Then slowly closed the door

I'm afraid to try again
Not 'cause I don’t believe
But 'cause belief betrayed me
When I needed it to leave
I’ve kissed futures I never had
Held hands that turned to air
Now I sleep beside my silence
Too tired to even care

It’s not you, it’s not them
It’s the ghosts I never mend
And the way I disappear
Every time, love tries again