When I Wake Up I’m Sad

It’s clear that I’m addicted before I’ve even started
Another thing to control myself over consuming
But I’m no good with eating, sometimes it makes me nauseous
Avoiding putting the weight on my face again
And some people think that’s stupid
'Cause I’ve been called beautiful
But it doesn’t matter what you say
If you’re trying to cheer me up
Maybe I’m realistic 'cause we’re always getting older
24 and I’ve still never been in love, love
And I’ve got so much

And so I hold onto this focus on something
That gets me out of bed in the morning
'Cause when I wake up I’m sad
And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did

I know that I’m obsessive
With self detrimental thoughts and habits
Catastrophizing everything
But don’t say that I’m dramatic
No I’m just afraid of dying
Before I get the chance to be what I’ve wanted to be
Since 15 years old when I borrowed Jacob’s guitar
And he let me keep it until I’d learned all of pumped up kicks
Well a lot has changed since then
I’ve sang at his funeral
Cos’ he died at 21 but I keep him here in my songs and

Hold onto this focus on something
That gets me out of bed in the morning
'Cause when I wake up I’m sad
And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did
I’d fall into them and slow time with kissing
A slightly less lonely life than I’m living
But when I wake up I’m sad
And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did

But if I did
But if I did
But if I did

Hold onto this focus on something
That gets me out of bed in the morning
'Cause when I wake up I’m sad
And I’m not saying I need a lover but if I did
I’d fall into them and slow time with kissing
A slightly less lonely life than I’m living
But when I wake up I’m sad
And I’m not even sure a lover could fix that