Somewhere Inbetween

I've been pretending to be somebody else since I was just fifteen
And I don't know if the show was for them or for me anymore
I'm not sure and I don't recall being born
But I remember being underwhelmed when I worked out who I was
Because that didn't fit with any of the feelings I'd been feeling
The things I started thinking as a kid who didn't know how to feel
But could instinctively pretend, put on a show, was it for them?
I have forgotten where this ends

Blinking in the light, emerging into something
Something isn't right, something isn't working
No one on my side, no sense of where I'm standing
Half my fucking life caught somewhere in-between

I have been waiting for someone to say they've found out I'm a fake
A foundling fraudster on the take, a huckster hustling half his name
Around the world, and I'd reply
Goodness knows you're right, I know that guy
That is to say, I do not know that man at all
After all, no one can, there's nothing there to know, it's just a show
Oh, the lights are on, but nobody is home
They kicked me out years ago, changed the locks and took my keys
My memories seen through a window, like something I don't really own

Blinking in the light, emerging into something
Something isn't right, something isn't working
No one on my side, no sense of where I'm standing
Half my fucking life caught somewhere in-between

Is it so much to ask? To be offered some protection
To be let go by the past, to feel some acceptance
To find somewhere to belong and something to belong to
A place where I'm allowed, anywhere but in-between

Half my fucking life blinking in the darkness
Stuck on the outside, sick and mostly harmless
A stranger to myself, but still chasing their forgiveness
For anything I did when I was somewhere in-between

Always somewhere in-between