My Night Alone

That night there was no solution
And even now looking from so far away
I still can see no real solution
Like we're still living on that day
For me no day defined before and after
Like that one did so decisively
And every new day instead of healing
Makes me look back more painfully

On my night alone
I threw my life down the toilet
I tore my medals off my chest
I swore that this would be death
On my night alone

Did my tongue wag too much before?
Could a few words have sealed our fate?
No forgiveness allowed or forgiveness given
I said no to love and yes to hate
Some attempted praises I subtly botched
Outstretched hands did I ignore
Wrapped in a self-made coccoon of sorrows
Thinking of all that went on before

On my night alone
I threw my life down the toilet
I tore my medals off my chest
I swore that this would be death
On my night alone
Satan stood by my side
Took me for a hellish ride
I lit candles to my pride

That day stayed with me for months
Guided my every word and move
Laughed inside at all the wreckage
And I knew that we were doomed
With washed hands I watched
The events that sealed our fate
Til I saw what I'd really done
And then it was too late

On my night alone
I threw my life down the toilet
I tore my medals off my chest
I swore that this would be death
On my night alone
Satan stood by my side
Took me for a hellish ride
I lit candles to my pride