Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
'Cause you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done

You say either and I say eyether
You say neether and I say nyther
Eether, eyether, neether, nyther
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto!
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh! If we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh! If we ever part
Then that might break my heart!
So, if you like pajamas and I like pajahmas
I'll wear pajamas and give up pajahmas
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off!

You say laughter and I say lawfter
You say after and I say awfter
Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter
Let's call the whole thing off!
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You eat banana and I eat banahna
Vanilla, vanella, banana, banahna!
Let's call the whole thing off!
But oh! If we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And oh! If we ever part
Then that might break my heart!
So, if you like oysters and I like ersters
I'll take oysters and give up ersters
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off!
Let's call the whole thing off!