Construction Of Self Hate

What am I to you at this point?
Am I nothing? It feels that way
Have you forgotten what we had?
Please don't tell me you have moved on

You make me mad
Please listen, please!
I don't want to do something bad

You will always overtop me
I will never surpass your skills
What is wrong with me?
Please tell me!
I want to know why I'm jealous

Please come back to me
I miss you, I really do!
I can manage without you
But you are always on my mind

I am caught in this internal fight with myself
You mean well! I know you mean well!
But I just can't stop this fight

I hate myself. I do
We are still friends, right?
Please don't think I'm crazy, please!
It's not like that, you know this
It's because of my troubled past
(I hate myself, I do)

No! Come back!
I did not mean to scare you away!
Why am I this?!
Why am I this?!
I will falter in darkness
(I hate myself, I do)

Ah
(I hate myself, I do)

Ah