I'm The Greatest Star

I got 36 expressions
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more than
All them Barrymores put together
Instead of just kicking me
Why don't they give me a lift?
Well, it must be a plot
'Cause they're scared that I've got
Such a gift?
Well, I'm miffed

'Cause I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it, wait!
They're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
They'll cheer each toot
Hey, that kid is terrific, hm
When I expose it
Now can't ya see to look at me that

I'm a natural Camille
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer
Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because
I'm a natural cougher (ahoo, aheh, ahoo)
Some ain't got it, not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent
Laugh (ha, ha, ha, ha)
They'll bend in half
Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?
A thousand jokes
Stick around for the jokes
A thousand faces

I reiterate
When you're gifted, then you're gifted
These are facts
I've got no axe to grind
Hey, what are ya, blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star

No autographs, please
Ya think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever?
I should say not
Any minute now they're gonna be out
Finished! And then it'll be my turn
Hmph

Who is the pip with pizzazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an American beauty rose?
With an American beauty nose?
And ten American beauty toes?
Eye on the target and wham
One shot, one gun shot and BAM!
Hey Mister Keeney!
Here I am!

I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it
That's why I was born
I'll blow my horn
Till someone blows in

I gotta break the lights
Got a flash of light
I'll flicker then flare up
All the world's gonna stare up
Looking down you'll never see me
Try the sky 'cause that'll be me

I can make 'em cry
I can make 'em sigh
Someday they'll clamor for my drama

Have ya guessed yet?
Who's the best yet?
If ya ain't, I'll tell ya one more time
You'll bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest
Star!