5050

C                 C7          
Close your eyes, make a wish, 
Fmaj7                 G
picture your perfect woman
     C                  C7        
Now open your eyes and forget 
                  Fmaj7           
about her cause I’m here and I’m not
G
 it
       Fmaj7
And before we go any further
            G
There’s a few things I’d like to 
admit

      Am
I’m a self-absorbed workaholic
                      D
My mind is always divided
      Am
My schedule is erratic, just like my
 thoughts
      D
I’m easily depressed or overly 
excited whoo!

 Am
I can’t do anything around the house
    D
If you want food you gotta cook it 
yourself
            Fmaj7
And if we stop having sex, I will 
leave
 G
I have friends that give me 
everything else

           Am
I’ve got goals and dreams and 
aspirations
 D
I’ve got shit to do
  Fmaj7
I’m not gonna change all my plans
G
Just to be with you

              E
Yeah we’re a perfect couple
If you’re totally comfortable being 
Fmaj7
alone
        E
We’ll always be together
         Fmaj7
If it’s cool that I’m never home
              E
If you like overcompensation for 
boundless insecurity
          Fmaj7
This is where it’s at
            D
And if you notice I’ve been talking 
about myself this whole time
       G
Well, get ready for more of that

               Am
And I’m like look at me look at me 
watch me watch me
Am
Listen to me listen to this what do 
you think
Am                                
Tell me the truth compliments only
    G
 please
N.C.
Oh man you really get me

C
I’m gonna make your dreams come true
Fmaj7                       G
As long as they don’t interfere with
 mine
C
I’ll always be here for you
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      Fmaj7                G
For methodically allotted amounts of
 time
Em              Am
I’ll be there to hold your hand
       D
If I happen to be in town
     Fmaj7
And any time you need me
            G               C  
There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be 
Fmaj7  G
around

Am
I know this all sounds bad
          Em
But you know what else is true
  Fmaj7
Every word that I just said
         G
Could have also been describing you
         Fmaj7
Yes every word that I just said
 G                             C 
Could have also been describing 
Fmaj7 G
you

Am
You just don’t feel bad about it
D
It’s never even occurred to you
Am
To not go after all the things
D
You’ve ever wanted to
Am
You weren’t subconsciously 
conditioned
D
To give up your dreams for me
       Fmaj7
Or that loved and ambitious
    G
Were mutually exclusive things to be

E
It probably didn’t cross your mind
     Fmaj7
That your mom had goals too
         E
That had nothing to do with getting 
married
     Fmaj7
And nothing to do with having you
E
Can we stop pretending
      Fmaj7
That it isn’t kind of sad
    D
That your mom never pursued anything
         G
With the same intensity as your dad

Am
And right now you’re thinking
G
Not my mom, that was her decision
Fmaj7
Okay, sure, but all our moms
G
That’s what they all envisioned...

C

Kate: 'You know whenever my mom...
Riki: Kate, no
Kate: Are you sure? Because she 
always...
Riki: Kate! No
Kate: What about Lesley's mom?
Riki: No Kate! None of the moms! 
None of the moms
Kate: None of the moms!

So therefore…

C
I’m gonna make your dreams come true
Fmaj7                     G
As long as they don’t interfere with
 mine
C
I’ll always be here for you
Fmaj7                        G
For methodically allotted amounts of
 time
Em               Am
I’ll be there to hold your hand
D
If I happen to be in town
Fmaj7
And any time you need me
G                            C 
There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be 
Fmaj7 G
around

Am
Look I’ll meet you halfway there
D
But I can’t give you more than that
Am
And know it’s not as sweet of a deal
D
As every man ever before you had

Fmaj7     E
All I want is 50/50
Fmaj7
All I want is half
D
And if those numbers seem off to you
G
Why?

C
It doesn’t mean I won’t be your 
partner
C7
It doesn’t mean I won’t come through
Fmaj7
It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person
G
It just means I’m the same as you

C                                 
So if you’re looking for an equal 
C7
you found it
Fmaj7                             
But if want someone better than 
   G
you, try again
Fmaj7                             
Cause I only have what it takes to 
G
be man
Fmaj7                 G          
I’ve never had what it takes to 
     C
be a woman