Frozen Lullaby

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                          FROZEN LULAB Y- Garfunkel and Oates
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Tabbed by: Sophie

CAPO ON 2ND FD T

       C                        G7
When a man doesn’t love a woman very
 very much
   G7                            
He signs away his paternal rights 
     C
and jizzes in a cup
          C                
Then with lots of money and 
 G7
scientific genius
G7                    C
Hormones, pain and of course, um... 
Jesus

    C
The process begins the way god 
intended
Am
With a transvaginal ultrasound
       F
With a wand longer than a ukulele
        G
When it comes out of my body, it 
makes this sound (pop)

  C
I give myself daily intradermal 
injections
Am
An acute blood thinner and estrogen 
concurrence
F
Cryopreservation through hormonal 
activation
    G
And none of it’s covered by 
insurance

                 Am            
Then I’m knocked out and you’re 
   G
removed
       C                       F
And combined with a stranger’s come
           F
And as the saying goes You win some,
    G
you lose some

    C
And then you’re frozen until I’m 
certain
     Am
It’s time to unthaw you into a 
person
F
Then you’ll expire or you’ll make 
the grade
    G                           
And that, my darling, that’s how 
            C
babies are made
        Am     F  G        C    
(It’s so easy    and natural)
Am    F    G


CHORUS 1:
C               Am
Hush little egg baby don’t say a 
word
F                          G     
Mama’s gonna freeze you til she 
   C      Am   F  G
gets rich
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    C             Am
And when that day finally arrives
F                      G
You’ll be constructed in a petri 
dish
     D
With sperm donor 8w6-3
    G
The silent partner of our family

   C                    Am
So hush little egg baby don’t be sad
F              G                 
Just because I never fucked your 
   C     Am    F   G
dad

VERSE 2:
  C
I know there are orphans everywhere
        Am
But I’m going to pretend that isn’t 
real
      F
Don’t look at me like that just 
cause I admit it
G
You had kids and you knew the deal
C
Yeah I feel guilty about 
overpopulation
    Am
And ruining the environment for 
forever
     F
But Osama Bin Laden had 20 kids
  G
So fuck you or whatever

            Am            
Sadly procreation is not a 
     G
meritocracy
               C                   
And we need to prevent a real life 
F
Idiocracy
          F
Though it may be the ultimate form 
of narcissism
     G
It’s also a way to re-reverse 
reverse Darwinism

  C
I want all the stuff I don’t need a 
bucket list
   Am
It doesn’t make me greedy it just 
makes me feminist
F
Now I’m thinking back through all 
the guys I’ve dated
G                            
If they heard this song they’d 
               C
fucking hate it
        Am     F  G        C    
(It’s so easy    and natural)
Am    F    G


CHORUS 2:
C                 Am
Hush little egg baby don’t you cry
F                        G       
You’ll have the best genes mommy 
    C   Am   F   G
can buy
  C             Am
I don't want to wait till I get in 
dire straights
   F                           
My friends say if I want kids I 
       G
should go out on some dates
          D
But these working bitches don't have
 time to leave it to the fates
    G
The world deserves more Riki's and 
the world deserves more Kate's

   C                    Am
So hush little egg baby dads are 
overrated
   F                 G     
He did what mattered when he 
         C    Am    F   G
masturbated

BRIDGE:
C                    G7
Hush little egg baby just hold firm
G7                     C
Mama’s gonna buy you designer sperm
    C                       G7
And if that sperm gives you random 
traits
G7                     C
Mama’s gonna test your dna
    C                   G7
And if your dna doesn’t make things 
clear
G7                        C
Mama’s gonna just have to live in 
fear
C                      G7
And if that fear turns into guilt
G7                     C
Mama’s gonna hold onto what we built
         C                   
And if I hold too tight as to 
 G7
suffocate
     G7                       
I’ll buy you lots of things to 
     C
overcompensate
    C                          G7
And if that overcompensation’s too 
transparent
         G7                     
I’ll pretend it’s somehow better 
      C
with no male parent
    C                  G7
And if you say but mom who’s my dad
G7                             C
I’ll say I don’t know and it’s just 
too bad
    C                       G7
And if that badness forms a hole in 
your heart
     G7                            
I’ll want to make it up to you but 
C
won’t know where to start
     C                             
I’ll probably start by saying it’s 
G7
just you and me
            G7                
And there’s no such thing as a 
 C
normal family
   C                           G7
So fuck being normal and let’s do 
this shit
G7                                
Momma’s gonna freeze you til 
           C
she... gets.... rich