The Loophole

D                        G
All my life I've been good
D                                 
Do what my mom and dad and God say
      A
 I should

D                         G
Go to church and Bible School
A                   D
To live by God's rule

Bm
So whatever people tell me
Bm                   A
That The Bible tells me
D
I will do


D                                 
Walk the halls at my school with 
  G
my purity ring
Bm                                
Unlike those other girls, I've got
  E
 my morals in check
D                          G
It was easy to do until I got a 
boyfriend
Bm                             E
And pardon my French, but he's cute 
as heck

D             G
And I made a pact
D             G
To keep my hymen intact
G                    A
And Jesus and I are tight

D                        G
Never learned about the birds and 
the bees
Bm                                
I was taught to keep an aspirin in
    E
 between my knees
D                                 
'Cause The Bible says premarital 
      G
sex is wrong
Bm                             E
But Jason says that guys can't wait 
that long

G                   D
I don't want to lose him
G                   D
To someone who'll do him
G                           A
I need to figure something out


D                            
Well there's a loophole in The 
                   G
Scripture that works really well
         Bm                    E
So I can get him off without going 
to hell
D                   G
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
       Bm                         E
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!

Bm                          E
Oh thank you for making me holy
Bm                                
And thank you for giving me holes 
  E
to choose from
G                            A
And since I'm not a godless whore
G                                A
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore


tabrefrão

D                                
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love 
G
Jesus
Bm                           G   
The good Lord would want it that 
   A
way
Continúa después del anuncio
D               E             G 
Get that sweet sensation a 
          E
throbbing rationalization
refrão


G                        A
It's just between you and me
G                               A
'Cause everyone knows it's the 
                D
sex that God can't see

D                  G
It's hard to be as pure as me
Bm                          
To resist the urge to lose my 
  A
vaginal virginity
D                   G
To wait until my marriage bed
Bm                             A
To give my husband my unsullied 
maiden head


G             D
So take your cock out
G            D
Shove it in my ass
G            A
Fuck me until you come

        G                    D
Oops! I mean let's join our souls
G                D
And unite our bodies
G                         A
And fly with the wings of God


D                             
Whatever you do, don't touch my 
      G
clitoris
Bm                                
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God 
         A
can't ignore this


D                                 
And no prophylactics when you put it
G
 in
Bm                                
'Cause birth control's for sluts 
        E
and it's a sin


G                D
I've emptied my bowels
G                 D
And laid out the towels
G               A
I'm ready for romance


D                               G
Now I'm praying to the Power that's 
the Highest
Bm                              
But of all of my holes, this ones 
   A
the driest


D                           G
And we can't procreate if we anal 
copulate
Bm                              E
And God is OK with sodomy, but only 
if you're straight


G                     D
And I'm staying pure, no matter what
G                      A
So I'm OK with everything butt
Everything butt
Everything butt
Whoa-oh

tabrefrão

D                        G
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love 
Jesus
Bm                           G   A
The good Lord would want it that way
D              E             G  
Get that sweet sensation a rock 
      E
hard rationalization

refrão


G                       A
It's just between you and me
G                              A 
'Cause everyone knows it's the 
                 D
sex that God can't see

Bm                       E
I do whatever The Bible tells me to
Bm                             A
Except for the parts that I choose 
to ignore
Bm                             A
Because they're unrealistic and 
inconvenient
Bm                      E
But the rest I live by for sure


G                                 
So let's not talk about how the 
                  A
Good Book bans shellfish, polyester 
and divorce
G                             
And how it condones slavery and 
              A
killing gays because those parts 
don't happen of course
E                              
Let's cherry-pick the part about 
                         G
losing my cherry and (line up for 
ambiguities as omissions?)
 A                             Bm
And circumvent any real sacrifice, 
and still feel pious in my arbitrary
 parroted
E
positions

D                  A        
And don't you dare question my 
        Bm
convictions
E                           
And don't look closely at the 
        G
contradictions
D                     A          
And just focus on the sacrificial
         Bm
 crucifixion
E                            
And have faith in its complete 
         G
jurisdiction

E
As the only way to measure if you're
 good or not
And when you're in a debate, just 
say to ?have faith?
Because when you're up against logic
 it's the only card you've got
                        A


G
So close your eyes
A
Take a deep breath
And..

tabrefrão

D                      G
Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love 
Jesus
Bm                         G      A
The good Lord would want it that way
D             E          
Get that sweet sensation an 
   G           E
irrational rationalization


G                      A
It's just between you and me
G                 A              
'Cause everyone knows it's the 
              E
sex that God can't see
G                        A
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
G                  A        
So sometimes you need to think 
                D
outside the box