Not So Great Britain

Take one policeman whose job is tough
Investigating a cover-up
Looks to his colleagues for support
Gets accused of nothing has to leave the force
Not so Great Britain
Not So Great Britain
Not So Great
And who knows why

We pride ourselves on our sporting name
Soccer after all is our national game

And in Europe our teams are banned
It's not the players they don't like
It's the fans
Not so Great Britain
Not So Great Britain
Not So Great
And who knows why

It's the land of hope and glory
Where every school is preparatory (early)
No wonder on election night
Tories always win outright

I was taught at school it's wrong to tell lies
That golden rule it seems no longer applies
Next time your teacher says you lied here's proof
Just say you're being economical with the truth
Not so Great Britain
Not So Great Britain
Not So Great
And who knows why

In the kingdom of Jackanory
Where every picture it sells a story
Woe is me what have we done
Goodbye Hong Kong it's been fun

I know how I feel when a child is sick
You want to treat it and treat it quick
But what's going to happen when the doctor
Says
We'd love to treat you but we have no beds
Not so Great Britain
Not So Great Britain
Not So Great
And who knows why

So great in so many ways
But not in others
So cool nobody's fool
Like any other