Youngest That I'll Ever Be

I'm the youngest that I'll ever be
And the thought of that will always freak me out
Such a far cry away from seventeen
That girl I knew got lost somewhere somehow
I'm on my third reincarnation
Expectations really beat me down
Will anyone who listened then
Still give a damn and listen to me now?

I've smashed every mirror that I’ve got
I'll take the twenty years bad luck
I've pushed and pulled my stomach down
Like losing weight would sort me out
I've dyed my hair then cut it off
I've played the pop star that I'm not
I've tried hard not to hate myself
Some things in life you just can’t help

I've struggled with self-confidence
Am I still fucking relevant?
The years are rushing me away
'Cause youth will triumph over grace
I've loved and lost, then lost my mind
I tell myself I'm out of time
I'm scared I've crossed the finish line
Now I'm on the wrong side of twenty five

Hi, G
I don't know what you're going through right now
But I'm here for you, please talk
I love you

Back living with my mum and dad
The world has put me on my ass again
And this might be a little much
But I've not had sex for eighteen months, God damn

I've smoked just enough to choke my lungs
My voice ain't quite what it once was
I've cried under the fireworks
When New Year's took my new found love
I've given my friends therapy
Ironic, 'cause I've never been
And God knows that I probably should
If I wasn't broke, I probably would

And dating is a mystery
I wish someone would solve for me
I curse these boys and blame it on them
Fucked if really I'm the problem
Is it time to face the music?
Thirty hits and then you lose it
Scared I've crossed the finish line
Now I'm on the wrong side of twenty five