First Hello

Staring at my ceiling
Convince myself it’s nothing
Pray to God to fix me
Feeling guilty having thoughts at 12 years old
Is momma gonna like this, I'm risking her of grandkids
Seven years of fighting
And I don’t wanna fight no more

So I wanna let it out
Wasn’t ready then
But I'm ready now

I want my friends to know me
Like really, really know me
I hope this doesn’t change things
They say that boys don’t cry
But news flash, that’s a lie
I don’t fit inside your boxes
I can’t stop this no

So I'm counting down
Unlock my cell
And come on out

Oh my
Beautiful bliss
I'm so foreign to this
Tell you what my walls know
Here’s my first hello
Oh my
Such a relief
I can be me
I don’t put on no show
It’s my first hello

All that I said
All that I did
I learned to lock my thoughts up carefully
I held my breath
I broke my heart
I bit my tongue
It’s start's to bleed
And I
I hope
You know
That it’s not your fault
Hope my father understands
I'm not any less a man

Oh my
Beautiful bliss
I'm so foreign to this
Tell you what my walls know
Here’s my first hello
Oh my
Such a relief
I can be me
I don’t put on no show
It’s my first hello

I wanna let it out
Wasn’t ready then
But I'm ready now