[Intro] B A G# G B A G# G B A G# G Hey mister, where you headed? B A G# G Are you in a hurry? B A G# G I need a lift to happy hour B A G# G Say oh no B A G# G Do you brake for distilled spirits? B A G# G I need a break as well B A G# G The well that inebriates the guilt B A G# G 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4 ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) B A G# G Cold turkey's getting stale B A G# G tonight I'm eating crow B A G# G Fermented salmonella poison oh no B A G# G There's a drought at the fountain of youth B A G# G And now I'm dehydrating B A G# G My tongue is swelling up, I say B A G# G 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4 ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) E F# B A G# G Troubled times, you know I cannot lie E F# I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride ( B A G# G ) ( B A G# G ) B A G# G There's a drought at the fountain of youth B A G# G And now I'm dehydrating B A G# G My tongue is swelling up, I say Shit! ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) ( B D G F# ) E F# B A G# G Troubled times, you know I cannot lie E F# I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride (B D G) F# Hitchin' a ride ( B6 )