Three Little Pigs

Why don't you sit right back, and I, I may tell you a tale
A tale of 3 little pigs and a big bad wolf!

Well, the first little piggy, well, he was kinda hick
He spent most of his days just a-dreamin' of the city
And then one day, he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city
Built his house outta straw, what a pity
Then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf, knockin' on his door

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Well, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well, the second little piggy, well, he was kinda stokin'
Spent most of his days just-a ganja smokin'
Hoppin' and a-boppin' down on venice beach
Gettin' paid money for religious speech
Built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was crankin' out bob marley
Along came the wolf on his big, bad harley

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Well, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well, the third piggy was a grade a student
His daddy was a rock star named pig nugent
Earned his master's degree from harvard college
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood hills
Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills
Then one day came the old house masher
The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Well, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

Well, the big bad wolf, well, he huffed and he puffed all that hecould
And low and behold the little piggy's house stood
It's made out of concrete, the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned as he pouted
So they called 9-11, like any piggy would
They sent out rambo just as fast as they could
Rambo: Yo, wolf face, I'm your worst nightmare! Your ass ismine!

Well, the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
And that's the end of story for you and me
But still give a listen, you just may
Hear the big wolf and little piggies say

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin
Well, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huff and puff and blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in!

And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent
Can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show