Armageddon Ready

Friday arrives
And we need supplies
Our flyers are wise
They got the good buys

You tape over the mouth
On your cigarette packet
Whitened teeth
Never yellow or blacken

Put the 12-pack in your knapsack
Get the 20-pack
Throw it in the hatchback
Sure to get cash back

Then you wonder why you binge
Why you can't take it slow
When your fridge is full of jumbo
Tubs from Costco

I've got in bulk
I've got in plenty
If this weekend's Armageddon
I'll be ready
I'm a get it ready
Armageddon ready

I can sleep alone, eat alone
Work alone, tweet alone
But where's my phone? Where's my phone
Gimme my phone

I can decorate my place
With discriminating taste
Boutique brands
Unique little snowflakes

Old friends I don't miss them
I got them in the system
Pop 'em up onscreen
Ghosts in the machine

I boast more than
Most you know
They're just not in town
Nah, they're not around, no

I've got in bulk
I've got in plenty
If this weekend's Armageddon
I'll be ready
I'm a get it ready
Armageddon ready

Are you coming to show?
Why, who's gonna go?
It's everyone, you know
Everyone you know

Who's gonna play?
It's every big name
There's a hundred stages
It's outrageous

Whatever you're in the mood for
They got it at the food court
Fried and hotter
No outside water

We'll have to use spittle
Show me what you brought
I said that's a little
Have you ever tried a lot?

Take the Xanax first
'Til anxiety deserts
Then the rest is dessert
Then the rest'll be dessert

Cause whatever you need
There's a line for that
But we're pissing in the trees
No time for that, time for that, time

I've got in bulk
I've got in plenty
If this weekend's Armageddon
I'll be ready
I'm a get it ready
Armageddon ready