ditch

Fuck my life
Fuck my health
You don't care so I'll go fuck myself
Fuck this job
Fuck this car
Every song that I write just co-exists with a scar
And I've got paragraphs about the shit that I will never say
'Cause it'll kill you just to hear me whine and bitch all fuckin' day
Maybe the grass is green in other states where I choose to reside
Maybe a glimpse of light will formulate and catch my fuckin' eye
And maybe you'll hear this when you check my page and ask if I'm alright
'Cause I've been afraid of all the darkest places lying in my mind
I will convince myself I'm dying but then act like I'm just fine
My minds a scary fuckin' place and I can't fix it while I drive
But my car is Lucy in the sky with diamonds going 65
And you're just a pothole
Maybe Yoko Ono screaming by my side
Is this the end of things, I'm strumming strings just trying to decide
'Cause I am afraid of me, so save me please, I beg you just to try
I'm losing my purpose, life's a circus, they said: Please enjoy the ride
My seatbelt is broken, eyes wide open as my body starts to slide
If I escape the wreck, I'll disconnect from everyone online
I'll pack my belongings, I've been longing for this moment my whole life
I'll disappear for months, no mentions of my status or a clue
I'm fine, don't you worry, there's no hurry to return to what I knew
It's hard to calculate these conversations if I'm being truthful
I wanna congregate all that relate to everything I spew
In midst of my disconnect, I'll stay in check, and keep in touch with few
As long as I'm open, I'm just hoping that it's something I'll get through

'Cause I'm a fucking wreck
Oh, what the heck?
Why do I even try?
I lie in the grass
High off my ass
And watch the clouds just pass on by
If life has a purpose
I am nervous
To unravel what is mine
I'll trip and I'll travel
Down the rabbit hole
And ditch my bags inside