I'm my own grandpa

Guy Lombardo

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    How many many years ago when I was twenty-three
    I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
    This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
    My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

    Oh I'm my own grandpa
    I'm my own granpa
    It sounds funny I know,
    But it really is so
    Oh I'm my own grandpa

    This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
    My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
    To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
    I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

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    My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
    And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
    For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther
    Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

    Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
    And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
    My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
    Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

    Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
    And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
    For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw
    As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

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