(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs

Hairspray

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    Front step
    Cha cha cha
    Back step
    Cha cha cha
    Side step
    Front step
    Back and turn

    Oh, my God, Penny, there's Link, Link!
    I can't belive I'm realy here auditioning!

    I can't believe I'm really watching you audition!

    Front step, cha cha cha
    Back step, cha cha cha
    Side step, front step, back and
    Oh, Amber, look at this motley crew!
    Oh, this town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned Miss Baltimore Crabs

    Oh, my God
    How times have changed
    This girl's either blind
    Or completely deranged
    Ah, but time seemed to halt
    When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
    Amber, that move is far too dirty

    Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930

    You can laugh but life's a test
    Don't do this don't do that
    Remember! mother knows best
    But the crown's in the vault
    From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

    This steps are perfect ammunition

    Let me show you how your mother dear
    Took out the competition
    Girls, go ge'em!
    Boys, let´s rumba!
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7
    Those poor runner ups
    Might still hold some grudges
    They padded their cups
    But I screwed the judges
    Those broads thought they'd win
    If I plade they would spin in their dance
    Not a chance
    Boys put me down
    Oh, good morning, ladies
    Let´s see what you got!

    Twis twist twist twist
    Mashed potato, mambo

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    Ready begin
    On my show you'll never find
    A thurusting hip, or bumbing bind

    Was that a dance for fleats and ticks?

    Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!
    Oh, I hit the stage
    Batons ablaze!
    While belting Aida
    And preparing souflees!
    But that triple somersault
    Is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs!

    Proceed

    Are you scared, were on live

    No I'm sure I can cope!

    Well, this show isn't broadcast in cinemascope

    I never drInk one chocolate malt!
    No dessert, for Miss Baltimore Crabs

    This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes

    Ha! kid, she'll never get a date til daddy buys her new nose
    I would say oy gevalt!!
    If wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs

    Do you dance like your dress?

    Amber, there's no need to be cruel

    Would you swim in an intergrated pool?

    I sure would!
    I'am all for intergration, its a new frontier!

    Not in Baltimore it isn't, and may I be frank
    First impressions con be thogh
    And when I saw you, I knew it
    If your size weren't enough
    Your last answer just blew it
    And so my dear, so short and stout
    You'll never be in
    So we're kicking you out!
    With your form and your face
    Oh, but it isn´t your fault
    You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs
    Eh, you may go

    Thank you

    I think they secrethy liked you

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