The Best Things In Life

Half Man Half Biscuit

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    My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man
    And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.
    They've got one of those stickers
    In the back of their van; it says:
    We've seen the prices at the zoo.
    Well today I knocked upon their door
    And said that I was passing,
    And charlie launched a scathing attack.
    When I asked him what I'd done, he said
    "You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!"

    Went to Darlene's party; it was fancy dress.
    I just stuck an apple in my face.
    I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,
    Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space.
    He said "Hi there {? souls! ?}
    Like I'm sorry I'm late!
    But I was getting done up
    As a mobile thrash acetate!"
    Me, I got bored
    So I went home,
    Got into bed,
    And came to the conclusion...

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    There is nothing better in life
    Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
    There is nothing better in life
    Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
    There is nothing better in life
    Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
    There is nothing better in life
    Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol
    On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub.

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