I fell asleep amongst the boulders strewn between
Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr
And I saw in a dream
Your charmless associates in a stretch limousine
They were plunging headlong into a ravine

And your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing

Came the behemoth, seven score and nine
To rescue all the children from their parents on the line
And they took them to a crash site
Unfurled a ball of twine
And tied a bunch of flowers around the speed limit sign

No more the Multiplex
Stood in its stead
Pleasure grounds with maze in the shape of a sled
Outside the Gielgud, a neon sign read:
'Equus On The Buses', starring Mr Ed
And your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing

And a plague fell upon the Retail Park
And a storm broke over Henman Hill
And the christening party arsehole
Who hitherto had blurred
My conception of man as nature's final word
Was fleeing from the lava
His SatNav pleading thus:
'I'm not from round here mate, you should have got the bus'
Enter then a real rat pack
Millions pouring in
And Ezekiel punched Dan Brown
And the nights are drawing in

And your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing had been cancelled
Your Evening of Swing