Epiphany

Am
      I can recall the day quite 
clearly. A Friday in July. A 
sweltering eighty degrees.
Am
Martin Jarvis was completing his 
week in dictionary corner; he’d been
 reassuringly average.
Am
Somewhere in the Shires, surgeons 
had entered the mind of Mr 
Stinchcombe and found black apes,
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gibbering on dark lawns. I’d spent 
the afternoon becoming increasingly 
frustrated with the
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grooming agitator on my lime Dyson. 
I was due in Parbold at seven 
fifteen, and wasn’t going to make 
it.
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Telephoning the person who needed to
 know this, I found myself caught up
 on a crossed line,
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something I’d not experienced for 
years. I listened in with quiet 
delight.


[Intro 1 cont.]
(Talking)

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It appeared that someone called 
Bill, whilst out walking the bounds 
that morning,
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had looked in to Top Acre, and been 
horrified to see the almost visible 
ribcage of a foal,
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which belonged to the 
straggle-haired girl from Keeper’s 
cottage, whose name,
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if this was a Helen Fielding novel, 
would be something like ‘Martha 
Flanagan’.
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But the countryside is never as 
romantic as townsfolk believe it to 
be,
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and the girl’s name was Karen 
Henderson. On closer inspection of 
the poor emaciated beast,
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it was agreed that a visit upon the 
child’s father was in order.
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Not a mission to relish apparently, 
as the man in question was affected 
by a strange disquiet,
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which gnawed away at his faith, and 
it was rumoured his days were spent 
sucking on the
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bleached bones of his dead mates, 
whilst writing songs for the hospice
 – one of which goes like this:


[Verse 1]

                    E        Am   
Na na na na na na na na na na na, 
                      E        Am
  Na na na na na na na na na na na
                     E        Am  
Na na na na na na na na na na na, 
                       E        Am
  Na na na na na na na na na na na.

Oh sucking on the bleached bones of 
my dead mates
Trying to get to Parbold for a 
             E                  
quarter past seven, and it isn’t 
       Am
gonna happen.


[Verse 2]

           E                       
Hospice, I think you’re marvellous,
Am         E
 hospice I sing your praises
Am       E                 Am   
 On high days and holidays; I 
            E
big you up on high days and holidays
Am                E              
 I hear you go on some good 
   Am                 E
outings; I’d like to go on one of 
your outings
Am                          E
 Please take me with you on one of 
your outings.


[Chorus]

A               D        A       
 I heard you’re going to Billing 
E
Aquadrome
A              D        A       
 I hear you’re going to Billing 
E
Aquadrome
A           D       A   
 I’ve never been to Billing 
    E
Aquadrome
A          D           A       
 Let me go with you to Billing 
E
Aquadrome
A              D     A   
 Please let me go to Billing 
    E        A D A E    A D A E
Aquadrome……………..


[Coda]

        A       D         A       E
I’ll be busking this at Embankment
        A       D         A       E
I’ll be busking this at Embankment
        A       D         A       
I’ll be busking this at Embankment
 E      A     D A E  A D A E
 tube tomorrow.
A            D     A  E 
 January the sixth.         
 A   D
Epiphany.