Rod Hull Is Alive Why

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A doyen of topiary once told me
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That one day he would like to grow a maze
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It seemed to be quite logical that this should be his wish
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And with that we both went our separate ways.

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They said you died at seven due to something in your head
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I asked the sister why it wasn’t someone else instead
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Tonight I’ll cry myself a bath of tears and ask the world
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“Why is Rod Hull alive – and getting paid as well?”

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Heard a Palace spokesman mention Sarah
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Said she’d known the groins of Jacques Laffite
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She’s well prepared to be a standard bearer
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As pure as unproverbial driven sleet.

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Halfway up the Wrekin with an empty flask of tea
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A fog descends and takes away my visibility
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Yet in this Helen Keller state I’d still quite like to know
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“Why is Rod Hull alive – and getting paid as well?”

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And I wonder if they’ll bring back National Service and the birch
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And I wonder but I doubt if they will ever bring back the Watney Cup.