Abandoned

They heard it all
All those who knew me
When I received Your holiness
When you gave me new freedom
Took me to Your Kingdom
I spent all my time around You

They all could see
As things kept turning
And I returned to my old ways
To the weakest and the dearest, all my nearest
I caused grievances and heart ache

Bowing down again
I have no strength to live in today

Jesus, was I left behind or
Have you no space in my heart?
Trading in for slavery
A freedom dearly bought
I can't rid the shackles off me
Jesus, would you take me home now?
I have no more strength to care
I cannot and I will not
I leave all this behind me
There is no way returning
There is no God left for me

You made me empty
Guess, to fill me
But sin was able to survive
I lost my faith in strength
That is found in repentance
Although I wished to find Your face

I guess this world
Needs someone wretched
Reminder to blessed ones
The wish of our Creator
Was to cease my failure
And to cure this twisted nature

Where's the strength to go on?
I have no friend to comfort my soul

Tell me what kind of a hero
Stumbles on the smallest rock
Dies on way to battlefield
Ends up a laughing stock?
Achieving merely evil

Maybe I was duly judged for
Mocking God's own Holy Ghost
This mighty warrior of the Lord
Shall in flames of hell be lost
Where there is no way returning
There is no God left for me