Never Google Your Symptoms

One evening, my father said: My son
I’m dying and soon I’ll be gone
But before my final farewell
Hear me. And hear me well
Do whatever you want to do
Have a plan or roll the dice
But one thing is strictly taboo
Please, follow my advice

Never Google your symptoms
That is my only prescription
You get a hundred diagnoses
And medieval prognoses
Every sign is a serious condition

If you Google cough and diagnosis
You have got tuberculosis
And if you Google fever and red
You’ve got Ebola and soon will be dead
And if you Google I’ve a runny nose
It’s CSF. Your brain is leaking juice!
And if you Google itch and prognosis
Anaphylactic chock or psychosis

So never Google your symptoms
Seldom it brings any wisdom
You want to discover
But you might uncover
That you have an extra chromosome

So this is what I heard my father say
And then he closed his eyes and passed away
The autopsy report was very clear
Death from hypochondric fear
Which is custom
When you Google
Your symptoms

Never Google your symptoms
The hit list is never awesome
Pain in your left arm?
Heart attack alarm!
Do you feel a little weak? Yes
You’ve got ALS!
If you have a slight anemia
You’ve got leukemia!
Are you a little crazy?
You’ve got ADHD
So never, ever Google
Your symptoms!