Feel Better

I’ve been reading journals that I wrote when I was 13
And I’m still trying to find the answers that that kid was asking
Sometimes it feels so hopeless that it’s pointless to keep searching
But she keeps telling me its all how I perceive it

And I’ve been thinking lately that maybe there’s nothing to it
Everyone tells me to relax and not to over think it
I take a break to view the lake outside my bedroom window
And I must say its really beautiful while it is snowing

It still feels as though I’m reading while it’s being written
Eraser marks, a time machine back to 2007
And if it worked in reverse and my former self could see me
Would he be proud or would he just be disappointed?

There’s a chest that’s in a closet in my parents basement
Full of nostalgic shit throughout the years that I’ve collected
I find it scary when there’s nothing left for me to burry
These aren’t trophies. These are ghosts
That’s what I keep them for

So why can’t I feel better?
Everyone knows that the past is gone forever
So why cant I fell better now?

I’ve been calling people that I knew when this was written
Bringing up stories but eventually they’re barely listening
If I could find someone who’s haunted by the same things I am
Then we could talk for days until we both feel better