Backbone

I'm not perfect
But neither are you
At least I had the decency
To tell you the truth
I once felt dead inside
As if the world around me
Withered to ashes and died

Now there's a piece of me
That's found the peace in me
No longer lost
But still waiting to drown
Any second the bottom could just drop out
And I'll be back inside this black hole
I just climbed out

Show me now
What's wrong with this picture?
When I've used every ounce of my strength
Just to get better
There's so much pressure
That it's driving me insane

So here's to waking up
From this terrifying dream
Cause the world around me
Is not as dark as it seems
I'll never say I'm sorry for being selfish
Cause I'm living my life for me

I found my backbone
Lost it when I was under your control
All it took was some clarity
To show me I'm no longer the victim
And I swear when I get the chance I'll walk away
I'll disappear
Like there's nothing left to lose

It's kind of frightening
When you're frozen in time
And everything around you
Keeps on passing you by
The world doesn't stop
Because we aren't living
Take advantage of the gift
The short-term life we've been given

There is a piece of me
A fucking place in me
Where all my demons were fed
With fucked up thoughts in my head
Now I can see that they were never real
As I begin to remember what it's like to feel

So here's to waking up
From this terrifying dream
Cause the world around me
Is not as dark as it seems
I'll never say I'm sorry for being selfish
Cause I'm living my life for me

I found my backbone
Lost it when I was under your control
All it took was some clarity
To show me I'm no longer the victim
And I swear when I get the chance I'll walk away
I'll disappear
Like there's nothing left to lose

I finally found my backbone
No longer a slave to your control

I'll be gone in the blink of an eye
Vanish without saying so much as a goodbye
Someday when you find my grave
There'll be a message carved in the stone
Just for you

Go fuck yourself