How Nice I Really Am

You have two new messages
First message
Hey it's me, again
I was just in the neighborhood doing some bird watching with my binoculars
Saw you in the window
So I thought I'd give you a call
Uh, you must not have heard it ring
You should really get your ears checked
Anyhoo! I just wrote a new song- thought you might like to hear it
It's about a little, special someone!
Guess who that is! You!
I brought my accapella group to sing it for ya'
I don't know if you can see us out here but here it is!

I spent the last night outside your windowpane

It was ten below but heck, I'd do it again
For that one brief glance when you screamed
In what I'm sure was happiness
The way I figured must have been a test

I offered you my kidney
The offer still stands
Power of attourney in my collection of rubber bands
I even knit you a rug with the hair from your comb
It took three years but now it can grace your home

For you see how much I love you
How far I'm willing to go
The police may say I'm crazy
But hey, what do they know?
We'll be together someday
If only you'd stop running away
You would see how nice I really am
You would see how nice I really am

You ran over my dog
It brought a smile to your face
Were you maybe hinting that you need more space?
You attacked me with your nail file
Did you want to see other people?
For a while
'Cause I could wait at least a few more days

I see you throwing darts at my picture
Well it's nice you're thinking of me
You never answer your cell phone
But I respect that you're thrifty
That restraining order was a funny joke
I laughed so hard I nearly had a stroke
'Cause from two-thousand feet, it's really hard to get down on one knee

For you see how I love you
How far I'm willing to go
The police may say I'm crazy
But hey, what do they know?
We'll be together someday
If only you'd stop running away
You would see how nice I really am
You would see how nice I really am

It may seem I'm a bit obsessed
In fact, my psychiatrist says I may be posessed
But at least you know
I'll be true
'Cause ever since the fourth grade
I've been stalkin- loving you

How far I'm willing to go
The police may say I'm crazy
But hey, what do they know?
We'll be together someday
If only you'd stop running away
You would see how nice I really am
You would see how nice I really