The Billboard Song

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When I was walking down the street,
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 a billboard caught my eye
The advertisement written there 
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would make you laugh and cry
The sign was torn and tattered from 
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the storm the night before
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And as I gazed upon it, well, this
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 is what I saw.


[Verse 2]

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Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes. Drink 
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Wrigley's Spearmint beer
Ken-L-Ration dog food makes your 
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wife's complexion clear
Chew chocolate-covered mothballs -- 
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they're sure to satisfy
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Brush your teeth with Lifebuoy soap
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 and watch the suds go by


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[Verse 3]

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When I recovered from the shock, I 
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went along my way
I'd gone no further than a block, 
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when there to my dismay
Another billboard caught my eye, 
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just like the one before
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As I gazed upon it, well, this is 
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what I sawr:


[Verse 4]

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Take your next vacation in a 
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brand-new Frigidaire
Learn to play piano in your winter 
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underwear
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's 
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candy bar
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Texacos the beauty cream used by 
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all the stars!


[Verse 5]

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Doctors say that babies shouldn't 
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smoke 'til they are three
People over 35, take baths in Lipton
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 Tea
Oh, you can make the country a 
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better place today --
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Just buy a copy of this song and 
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throw it far away!