Cinderella, Darling

How often does it happen
That a secretary's boss
Wants to marry her?
Halleluia!

How often does the dream come true
Without a sign of conflict
Or barrier?
Halleluia!

Why treat the man
Like he was a typhoid carrier?

How often can you fly
From this land of carbon paper
To the land of flowered chinz?
Halleluia!

How often does a Cinderella
Get a crack at the prince?
Cinderella and the prince.

Don't you realize
You're a real live fairy tale,
A symbol devine?
So if not for your own sake,
Please darling, for mine.

Don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,
Don't turn down the prince.
Don't rewrite your story.
You're the legend, the folk lore,
The working girl's dream of glory.

We were raised on you, darling,
And we've loved you ever since.
Don't mess up a major miracle;
Don't, Cinderella, don't turn down the prince.

Oh, let us live it with you,
Each hour of each day:
On from Bergdorf Goodman
To Elizabeth Arden
In the station wagon
Hurry from Twenty-One
To the Tarrytown PTA.

(No, New Rochelle.)

New Rochelle PTA.

Oh, do not leave us minus
Our vicarious bonus.
We want to see his highness
Married to your lowness.
On you, Cinderella, sits the onus;
So when you name the happy day,
Please phone us.

But don't, don't, don't, Cinderella, darling,
Don't turn down the prince.
Why spoil our enjoyment?
You're the fable, the symbol
Of glorified unemployment.

We were raised on you, darling,
And we've loved you ever since.
Don't louse up our fav'rite fairy tale;
Don't, Cinderella,
Don't, don't, don't,
Don't, Cinderella,
Don't, don't, don't,
Don't, Cinderella, don't,
Don't turn down the prince.

(All right. I'll give him one more chance.)

Halleluia.