Miss You Hate You

Now I've debated
That my sobriety is overrated
And I want to feel intoxicated
For just a moment to escape it
I miss you

I'm feeling weighted
And it's been so long since I've been faded
I'm not trying to make this complicated
I'm proud of the life that I've created
I hate you

I miss when my eyes would dilate and
I would start to get that taste I'd waited all day for
Settle that score with my head on my floor
Painted my face with elation, till I'd forget contemplation

And I could vacate my mind, copy paste a time
Where I was funny, loud, pretty, stupid, forgetful, regretful
False sense of serenity, identity, it was my only enemy
But damn did it feel good
And I miss you

Now I've debated
That my sobriety is overrated
And I want to feel intoxicated
For just a moment to escape it
I miss you

I'm feeling weighted
And it's been so long since I've been faded
I'm not trying to make this complicated
I'm proud of the life that I've created
I hate you